'And the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man'
Genesis 2: 21-22
Hell know not the fury of a woman scorned, but neither is it heavenly silence, when a cold war develops in a relationship and a man embarks on a journey of stony silence.
A bone to pick, is best represented visually by images of the vultures hovering on some leafless not toothless branches of gnarled trees in the desert, just waiting for the final breath to leave a fast dying creature, before the feasting starts. Grosteque as it might seem, the Indian vultures is one consideration that has kept the land relatively free of disease by feeding upon abandoned animal carcasses and sometimes human corpses.
On the emotional level, a dismantling of relationships previously built on love, but now being pulled apart by mutual recriminations, is an increasingly common facet of modern society. Be it historical baggage or not, in such moments of love lost, both protagonists would have plenty of bones to pick on, and man and woman often forgets that marriage is an union sancitified in the presence of God.
'Many are the afflictions of the righteous; but the Lord delivereth him out of them all.
He keepeth all his bones, not one of them is broken'
Psalm 34:19-20
Most of us would have loved once or at least been loved before, be it parental, camaderie, emotional attraction or agape love. Love is not lust. The latter gives one a temporary adrenalic rush, but it does no good to the tempo of one's heart. Love is that great sense of well-being, a soothing longing and a giving heart. Love from God has traces of all these and more, for it is indescribable and He gives us that great joy and peace.
'Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause?'
Matthew 19:3
Why does love often grows cold, so cold that it brings untold miseries, and finally transforms into loathing?
Bone to pick is a phrase many of us learn in school. Not too sure if the term originated from the cave dwelling hunter days of early man, when after a successful hunt of a big lizard(or dinosaur), the entire clan gather together to feast and by the time the famished crowd was done with, only the bones were left for the vultures to pick on.
But clearly, one thing has never left us since Adam and Eve ate from the forbidden fruit of knowledge. That is, the sense of right and wrong, based on our flawed benchmarks and finite imperfect understanding.
'….if ye recompense me, swiftly and speedily will I return your recompense upon your own head'
Joel 3:4
An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, that is what the Old Testament teachings clearly stated. Contemporary man is always prepared to discount the Bible as a 2000 year plus old equivalent of an old fogey. Best consigned to the bin of obsoleteness. It does not apply to our modern world, but yet the same self professed modern thinker is unabashedly willing to dust off such thoughts from the trash bin of their memory, when it suits them. Using the right verse for the wrong purpose!!
God knows that man is incapable of following rules, for the heart is deceitful and Satan is the master of deceit.
God gave man a new covenant, resting upon the sacrifice of His beloved Son, Lord Jesus Christ, whose cruxification nailed all our sins on the cross, and through the unblemished lamb, we the blemished are forgiven and given the salvation of eternal life and death no longer has its grip upon us.
What has marriage got to do with all this?
'..Have ye not read, that He which made them at the beginning made them male and female.
And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife, and they twain shall be one flesh?'
Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder'
Matthew 19:4-6
A few days back, when I first started to put in my rudimentary thoughts for this sharing, I truly believed that the Lord our God wanted me to dwell on the issue of 'boldness'
Man plans, God directs and when I last stopped this most recent work in progress, I sensed He was moving me to the issue of marital union.
As I re-picked my thoughts this very moment, as I took time to listen to my Mandarin audio Bible(being semi literate, can understand, cannot read nor write), the Lord brought me to Matthew 19, which interestingly, is very specific about how our Lord addressed the issue of marriage.
'…let the weak say, I am strong'
Joel 3:10
Why do relationships often move away from the garden path to the stony, rocky route?
'…I am the Lord thy God which teacheth thee to profit, which leadeth thee by the way that thou shouldest go'
Isaiah 48:17
Often, we lay the blame on the weak will and a whole myriad of unacceptable and unforgiveable behaviour of our worse half. But reality is, none of us are perfect and we compound our mediocrity by relying upon our own imperfect understanding. Joel 3:10 reminds me of the need to lean on the Lord our God not just in our moment of weakness, but also strength, in fact in all moments, for then truly can we be right in our life with God and whoever He places in our path.
Before the Lord our God, lets let Him right ourselves first, before we even try to right others. But even for the latter, it has to be led by Him.
'Man that is born of a woman is of few days, and full of trouble'
Job 14:1
In the times of friction(thankfully fewer and shorter) with my wife, this is a nice little verse(ie Job 14:1) to misuse, for no doubt we are trouble, but it is because of woman!!
Yet, as I am reminded by the songs of praise that we sang with heartfelt gusto during my regular Wednesday worship at the office today, that just like first love, when we are dovey, lovey with this woman, she is like the song goes 'Beautiful beyond description.'
But of course, man is fleeting, and the apple of our eye starts to look quite shrivelled, and like the next song goes 'Through it all,' most of us are more likely to be through with our object of desire turned detestable, and very few will remember their commitment to the words "you are forever in my life"
'But his flesh upon him shall have pain, and his soul within him shall mourn'
Job 14:22
Satan, when he was the yet untainted cherub Lucifer, was glorious to behold and had held a great place of honour in God's kingdom. Sadly, his pride translated into a warp sense of greatness and he boldly wanted to upsurp God.
Thou wast perfect in thy ways from the day that thou wast created, till iniquity was found in thee'
Ezekiel 28:15
Like the devil, we were made perfect, but like the devil, by our disobedience, we became tainted. God brought us back into His fold, by the sacrifice of His Son, Jesus Christ.
God brought us into a new relationship with Him. An opportunity for all of us to start on a clean slate and be moulded in His likeness.
Grace comes from God, but boldness in faithful obedience, boldness in looking unto Him even when our emotions want to torn us asunder to do otherwise, has to come from us. And our boldness will rest upon the deep assurance that comes from knowing the Lord our God.
In a marriage, are we bold enough to admit that we are wrong(even if we are 1% and the other party is 99% culpable), bold to forgive and forbear even when the untoward and untold behaviour of our better half unfolds, will we be bold enough to commit our lives to desire to do right(even if our better half is doing wrong for now) and pray for that disharmony to transform into seemingly implausible unity to the Lord our God?
'…Whosoever shall put away his wife except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeh adultery…….'
Matthew 19:9
There are often very good and compelling reasons for many who are going through throes of emotional inequitabilities to consider divorcing the source of their grief
And much as I would like to say that come what may, one must never end a marriage union, it is a theological issue that I am ill equipped to address nor expand upon.
However I have come to learn that if we desire to do right in the eyes of the Lord our God,( even if others do us wrong). in whatever actions we take,
- lets learn to first put aside our grievances with the perpetrator of our miseries f and lets spend time in the presence of the Lord, difficult as it might be.
Let the Lord our God search our hearts and shine upon us the spots of darkness in our own lives and asked Him to make us right
'Before I was afflicted, I went astray, but now have I kept Thy word'
Psalm 119:67
- as the Lord our God speaks to us, as He surely would, lets us be bold to obey as He leads, even if our sinful hearts and deceitful minds, tell us to do otherwise.
'Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path. I have sworn, and I will perform it, that I will keep Thy righteous judgments.'
Psalm 119:105-106
As a believer, how many of us have truly forgotten that moment, often at our points of despair, when we truly felt at one with the Lord our God?
Our problems might still not be solved the way we wanted it, but it doesn't matter anymore, for God knows and God will show us the way, His way, not ours and as we look back a few years from now, truly, how God was always there with us.
I have learned that if we are bold to let go and let God, we will live to testify to His grace and love and how He more than make things perfect, His way, His timing.
'Uphold me according unto Thy word, that I may live, and let me not be ashamed of my hope'
Psalm 119:116
Do take time to reflect upon what does God mean in your life. Have we neglected our time with Him because of present troubles or lack of troubles, and allowed the quiet, but insidiously creepers of the sinful world to move us away from Him?
Have you been bold in living your faith, for our faith is a living relationship with a very real God.
God Blesses
E
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