#132a A wedding and a funeral(9apr07)

‘The fool says in his heart, “There is no God”
Psalm 53:1

The chosen title of this leg of my journey is not a sequel to Hugh Grant’s successful romantic comedy film “Four Weddings and a Funeral,”produced a decade or so back in 1994.
This film was an unexpected success, becoming the highest-grossing British film in cinema history with worldwide box office in excess of US$244 million.

This movie, which I did not watch, but have read the synopsis, and prayerfully, I read it correctly, is a play about coincidences of life, the brevity of life, fickleness of humans and relationships and the meaning of what true love and commitment means.

On the last point, I was reminded by a friend two nights back about someone we both knew long time ago from our varsity days. The new input was that she was divorced and had left two very angry children, who cannot accept the collapse of their family unit.

Till death do us apart, is still the commitment believers made and hopefully not mouthed at the altar. It is not just a covenant between two still lovey, dovey couples, but witnessed and sanctified in the presence of our Divine and Sovereign God.

‘God looks down from heaven on the sons of men to see if there are any who understand, any who seek God. Everyone has turned away….’
Psalm 53:2-3

It is no doubt easy for the unaffected to give well-meaning advice to all and sundry who are going through emotional challenges in their relationships. We can never fully empathise with those who are going through the many hurts and who by mens’ understanding, have good enough reasons for the aggrieved to want to end a matrimonial relationship.

But it is a fact that
- The innocent children will end up with the most damage and carry the emotional baggage of the spills of their parental discord into their own lives
- Whilst there might be a clear wrong, there is never a perfect and pure innocent party in a relationship turmoil.
- Forgiveness and love is what the Lord our God wills.
Rather than question the logic of His will or blindly by our own efforts, sacrifice all to meet our understanding of His will, it is better to take time with the Lord and let Him.
In letting God, it does not mean that we must condone a wrong nor does it mean that there is no possibility of separation from the object of our angst, but in letting Him, we allow God to work His plans. Healing could come much later, but if we disobey and do things our way, we thwart His ways and make imperfect, His perfect way.

It is my belief that our relationship with our family is God’s way of allowing us to have a mirror to reflect upon our relationship with Him, the ‘invisible’ God.

Witness the sometimes ‘ungrateful’ behaviour of children and the often unrequited love of the parents. Do you feel a strange similarity to the behaviour of most of us with our ever faithful God?





What about our spouses??
In uniting with our spouse in Holy matrimonial, we have committed to a relationship of selflessness and innate love from the heart, and not out of temporal lusts.

As believers, with salvation, we are literally given a ‘clean slate’ in our relationship with the Lord our God. Till the return of Jesus Christ, ‘the bridegroom,’ we are the ‘brides’ being made ready.
When Christ returns, it is either we have been made ready to be with Him or we are not, there is no room for indecision nor indiscretion.

Yet, many of us either are afraid to make that commitment, or even if we did initially, many will falter along the way.
Our earthly marriage and our commitment to make it work will often entail forgiveness, perserverance, patience, love and faithfulness. Such virtues are also essential to ensure that we stay the course in our walk with the Lord.

There are often so many compelling reasons not to obey the Lord our God. It is compelling because our finite mind, driven by our infinite needs give us the lust to wander off.

Only by willing ourselves to stay in the presence of the Lord can we not veer off course.

‘Who being past feeling have given themselves over unto lasciviousness, to work all uncleanness with greediness. But ye have not so learned Christ’
Ephesians 4:19-20

Enough said about the pain of marriage, what about the joys of funerals??

Warped as it may seem, it was in the often painful and heart-rending times spent with friends, who have since left us to be with the Lord, that I have had the opportunity to experience the power of His love and grace.

The indomitable human spirit in us, which is often mistaken to be the basis for our success is often also that bondage that kept us from ‘seeing’ God. It is often when the human intellect reached its finite limits, the body is fast running down and our spirit is broken, will we truly be willing to let go and let God.

Having been privileged to journey with 3 friends, through the last 6 months of their life, departure is indeed painful, yet, it is in such times that one truly has not just a perspective of the awesomeness, the omnipresence and the faithfulness of our God, but the chance to experience His loving hands, despite our unfaithfulness.

The pain is searing, as our friends near the time to leave the mortal world, yet, the joy is the knowledge and assurance that we have gained a brother or sister in Christ, whom we will meet again.

Like the movies, there is indeed a happy ending.


God Blesses

Eng Hieang