Running the race #8 Bringing up father (18aug08)

Dear…

'Behold, I will send you Elijah the prophet before the coming of the great and dreadful day of the Lord: And he shall turn the heart of the fathers to the children, and the heart of the children to their fathers, lest I come and smite the earth with a curse.'

Malachi 4:5-6

Ever felt like one of those days when the world around you seems like a series of collapsing pillars, where having just avoided one just by a cat's whisker, the next pillar starts falling towards you and even the floor seems to be opening up. Angst and pangs of intermittent fear seem to underline your day and you sometimes just wished that you were somewhere else, or better still, dad will be around to take the load off you.

Most of us will find it quite difficult to create such dire but character building live scenarios for our children. Yet, without being put through the mill of life's harsh realities, it is almost impossible for our children to bring forth that inner strength and resourcefulness that we like to believe exist in them, but which has been submerged by their very comfortable life. Unlike the agrarian economies of old, where the children work alongside the parents, where they will experienced the same cruel vagaries of weather's fickleness, our children today, especially in developed countries like ours can be forgiven for thinking that food on the table is a birthright, and that education is burdensome, rather than a privilege.

Though I walk in the midst of trouble, Thou wilt revive me: Thou shalt stretch forth Thine hand against the wrath of mine enemies, and Thy right hand shall save me.

The Lord will perfect that which concerneth me; Thy mercy O Lord endureth for ever……'
Psalms 138:7-8

Parenthood today is quite different from times past. Parents today are likely to be more prepared to stay engaged with their children, unlike the days of old, where fathers are king of the roost, and children are to be seen and not heard. Yet today, life for our children, at least in the developed Asian countries, seems more like a factory floor, where once the basic widget or baby is produced, the better part of their childhood and young adulthood is spent on a series of regimented packaging and value added, to make them ready for the material demands of the secular world, and less on character building.

'For the love of money is the root of all evil; which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows.'

1 Timothy 6:10

What about the more liberal West, where being lax with children, where parents can be sent to prison for disciplining their brood with a cane, where a child today might be very confused as to who his/her parents might be, given the same sex marriages, wombs for rental, cohabitation and short term transactional nature of marriages. Are the children brought up upon a focus on self rather than the common good, where values are the color of monies rather than of the heart. Where the home is no longer a dependable role model. Can the West be any better?

'For the son dishonooureth the father, the duaghter riseth up against her mother, the daughter in law against her mother in law; a man's enemies are the men of his own house.'

Micah 7:6

And what does our secular world demand?
With increased globalization, the standard operating requirements for one to be successful will hinge on
- not just the right education, but the right pedagogic institution with the right networks
- the right packaging and less on the quality of the intrinsics be it the heart
- the willingness to let our needs reign supreme rather than the common good.

A wee be harsh this might seem, but would be good for all of us to reflect upon our own and that of the lives of our brood. We are all guilty in different degrees but the common factor that bond all of us is the need to be with the system or falter otherwise, with its dire consequences of a lower standard of living.

But must life be this way. Are we as parents on the right track with the system, but way off center with the Lord our God?

'Be strong and courageous, be not afraid nor dismay for the King of Assyria, nor for all the multitude that is with him: for there be more with us than with him. With him is an arm of flesh; but with us is the Lord our God to help us, and to fight our battles.'

2 Chronicles 32:7-8

It is good to revisit our own experiences ever since the Lord has blessed us in lifting the blindness in our hearts. Being privileged to know the perfect God does not mean that we will be perfect. The Lord our God has wiped off the debt of our sins. We have a chance to start again on a clean slate, to be made into His likeness. As we allow Him to mould us, we will be there, but our Lord will have to surface layer by layer, the latent rough spots of our nature. We will resist, often desist, but God will make us right, if we let Him.

After so many years, all of us are far from the finished product. But God understands and He is patient.

What about us with our children?

No two child are the same. One might seem to fit our desired mould more, while the other seems to be almost a lost cause. But there will be times when the near perfect child will surprise us with an extreme display of schizophrenic behaviour or more correctly disassociative identity disorder. Have we failed as parents?

Has God failed with us??

'Behold, I will send you Elijah the prophet before the coming of the great and dreadful day of the Lord: And he shall turn the heart of the fathers to the children, and the heart of the children to their fathers, lest I come and smite the earth with a curse.'

Malachi 4:5

Our Lord has a great sense of humour. The writer in the Daily Bread article that I read two days back was using the analogy of a bison, that by nature can only look down, compared to the giraffe, that can only look up. Interesting it might seem that at that very moment on this Monday morning, a very stiff neck ensured that I could not look down or up nor sideways, but only straight and staying focus upon God was a lot easier. The desire that God wants us to seek Him always, but which most of us find it hard to do in normal conditions. We seem to fear everything else except the Lord our God.

The stiffness has now left me, in fact my neck can do a swivel(180 degrees only and not 360 degree for that will be a different set of problem then) but the relief came about from my having undergone 45 minutes of near excruxiating pain at the hands of the Chinese chiropracter.

The tension in my body is released, though now replaced by soreness across the whole body, but which thankfully should go away the next couple of days.

For many of us who have come to know God, our enlightenment comes from the grace of God, but we are often make ready after an intensified preparatory period of personal angst, which softens the present tautness of our firm refusal to seek Him. And like many newly crossed over believers, we still carry some of those sores but they will dissipate with time spent with God.

'Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord: and the fruit of the womb is His reward'
Psalm 127:3

Does our children have to go through the same route that we take. Probably, but the difference is that we as fathers can make the difference by the way we live, by our prayers, by where our very hearts are focussed upon. We cannot take away the darkness of the sinful world, but we can be used by God to light up the darkness of the paths that they will have to go through. As we allow God to bring us up as fathers to our rightful role as the spiritual head of our household, God will use us to bring our families unto His presence, to be made ready for the return of His Son, our Lord Jesus Christ.

The present world might seem to be in greater disarray than ever before. But God's plans are certain and ordered. And just like the book of generation of Jesus Christ as described in Matthew 1, God is faithful in fulfilling His promise of bringing salvation to the world through His beloved Son, our Lord Jesus Christ. From Abraham to Jesus, God used many faithful men as fathers in between.

Today, God has promised that our Lord Jesus Christ will return again. We are privileged to be used by our Heavenly Father to be in His plans. God will be faithful in His promise to all of us, and it is time that as the fathers of this present generation, that we be faithful and pass on that baton of faith to our next generation and thereafter till the fulfilment of the return of our Lord Jesus Christ.

God Blesses

Eng Hieang
(18aug08)