Reflections for the moment #4 When the donkey brays(10april09)

Dear…

'…shall we receive good at the hand of God, and shall we not receive evil?...'
Job 2:10

"The poor devil" is the oft phrase used as a sympathetic expression for the sufferings of a fellow being, rare does one use the phrase "the poor angel.'

And the devil is the source of trouble whom we believers often ascribe to as responsible for all bad things happening to us. In the book of Job, clearly, Satan was the source of Job's woes. Yet, we are also told in the Bible that God has the final say, and God did placed limitations on the extent of mischief or 'testing' that Satan can put Job through.

But it takes two to tango, and the imperfect men that all of us are, can and are often susceptible to our own deceitful mind.

'…therefore have I uttered that I understood not, things too wonderful for me, which I knew not..'
Job 42:3

The past couple of days have been one of soul searching for me. The soul is our emotions, our very will and attitude, and the Lord did allow me to go to the cleaners for some humbling and refining.

I am definitely not a man of few words, and in fact, I have come to believe that truly God speaks powerfully through me to the hearts of many. And indeed, God did.

Yet, in the midst of His grace, our sinful and deceitful heart often creeps in quietly and much as one might give all thanks to God, our hearts have slowly but surely moved away from dependency upon God, and unto ourselves.

'Be not rash with thy mouth, and let not thine heart be hasty to utter anything before God: for God is in heaven, and thou upon earth: therefore let thy words be few.'

For a dream cometh through the multitude of business, and a fool's voice is known by multitude of words.'
Ecclesiastes 5:1-3

Dreams indeed seem to populate my sleep the past few nites, from this wonderful dream of a dear neighbour turning to Christ, yet somehow there was something incomplete, to a horrors of horrors, I saw myself starting out with a good intent to share the word of God with friends and it degenerated into a full and rough judgement of all and sundry. It must be horrible for I did awaken at 5am and was thankful it was a dream.

Is God showing me something?? Yes indeed, for in a couple of events since, clearly He showed me the danger of my beginning to veer off course, much as I thought I was doing His work.

'The Lord shall preserve thee from all evil, He shall preserve thy soul. The Lord shall preserve thy going out and thy coming in from this time forth, and even for evermore.'

Psalms 121:7-8

Even in our imperfections, thankfully God remains faithful and loving. I have come to realize that I have not done anything wrong as yet. But at the rate that I was moving, it was a matter of time that pride and self understanding will lead me astray and to a more painful reawakening of the extent of my follies. And God will not allow His children who seek Him to err too far away and indeed He has steered me back on track, much as I might have moved even one centimetre off.

The past two days have been a spiritually draining soul searching exercise for me, and thankfully, the only thing that kept me focus was the knowledge that one must cling even closer to the Lord, much as distractions call out to us.

We are used by the Lord in many different ways. The process is always dynamic and only the Lord knows what is appropriate and of relevance for the audience He has placed in our midst.

It has been a good reminder that God has indeed brought me far, but without a total dependency upon Him and acknowledgment that all glory are to Him, we can bring ourselves down very fast. The devil is a very good example of how pride led to his downfall and even as we speak today, out there, are many self professed "man of God" who have got so enamored with themselves that they have come to attribute "success in their ministry" to themselves.

And on reflection, the restrictive bandage on my left wrist, a continuing saga of my left hand treatment, has indeed restricted my dexterity on the keyboard these past few days, and by God's grace, kept me from spewing words that might increasingly reflect more my finite understanding than truly the Word of God.

'Then the Lord put forth His hand, and touched my mouth. And the Lord said unto me, Behold, I have put My words in thy mouth.'

Jeremiah 1:9

And may this little reflection and sharing of my admonishment by the loving God be truly from Him and a reminder to all that we must come to personify the donkey, a beast of burden, who was used wonderfully by our Lord Jesus Christ, who sat on a mule, as the world honored Him as he rode into Jerusalem.

'And Jesus, when he had found a young ass, sat thereon, as it is written..'
John 12:14

And yet, we must never be like the braying donkey, that "hee haw" with such gusto, that the uninitiated would have thought that here stands an animal whose harsh, loud cry must be one of aggrievement bemoaning its once elevated status, when in reality, was a overworked beast of burden taking a temporary respite.

God Blesses

Eng Hieang
(9april09)